We’re currently in negotiations with the aggravating wonderful people at VBulletin to get our forums back up. We’ve been pretty busy here at the office lately, but we’ll be back online sooner or later.
Dramatization
On the bright side, our Garry’s Mod server is still up and running. Get all the info to join here.
I could provide any number of introductions to this post. I could provide some confirmation that it is indeed the “first” post I’ve made in a while. I could say it’s good to be “back.” But I’ll simply satiate any curiosity by saying I have returned from my extended leave to Antigua. I have no further commentary on the matter.
Or is it there????
So Team Fortress2 has been ported to Macs! PC users and Mac users will be playing TF2 together. Finally, PC users and Mac users can unite under the tremendous force of the Steam gaming platform in their continuous efforts to virtually butcher their online brethren in the highly inconsequential and extremely fruitless (but somehow satisfying) onslaught known as Team Fortress 2. Right?
Wrong. (That’s right. Bold and italics, motherfucker.)
There are countless reasons that provide for the impossibility of PC users and Mac users uniting (yes, even over TF2). The obvious reason is that human nature simply won’t allow such an armistice—but that’s a bunch of boring philosophical stuff. Let’s look at the real reasons. Let’s look at what the tumorous growth now known as the TF2 Mac community means for PC users that (used to) enjoy TF2.
First off, most Mac users are, for the lack of a more concise description, stupid. Alright, I admit that Apple isn’t quite as no-holds-barred as GEICO is with their “So easy a caveman can do it” advertising, but they’re getting there. Macs are advertised as being “easy to use.” In other words, no matter how stupid you are, no matter how disgustingly comprehensive an options menu bodes for you, a Mac is right for you. Fairly, though, if you’re not convinced of Macs’ subordinate status by now, you’re welcome to read countless articles that eloquently and thoroughly explain the matter by simply Googling the golden phrase: “PC better than Mac.”
For those Mac users in the audience, this influx of stupid players into the TF2 community means that…well…it means there’s going to be an influx of stupid players into the TF2 community. (Yes, stupid compared even to some of the existing players. If you thought the internet was bad already, wait until they let Apple users into it.) The number of bans per server capita will increase tenfold as server administrators face mobs, hordes of inept players. The number of elitist clans and clan members will spike as normal players begin to (rightfully) develop a sense of superiority and (wrongfully) practice it formally. And as we all fear, the number of games where the players actually know what they’re doing will dwindle even more than it already has with Valve’s efforts to expand the community.
But this update isn’t all bad. The video that goes along with it is actually crafted particularly well. (Leave it to Valve to make a video that you somehow enjoy despite the fact that it idolizes beliefs entirely contrary to your own.) And, finally, the video gives (what one would imagine is) a glimpse of one of the upcoming Engineer weapons. In lieu of further pontification and speculation on the matter I’ll simply provide this screen capture of the aforementioned device for your own viewing and speculating pleasure as any further developments on Valve’s part may compromise the integrity of any such speculation on my part.
Alright kids, this isn’t your mother’s top-ten-movies-of-2009 list, this is my list. I’m not going to include all the excess crap the mainstream media includes in their lists. To think those bastards over at MovieFone have a top fifty movies list – I could barely think of ten that I enjoyed watching, let alone fifty. The bottom line: 90 percent of “top movie” lists you’ll find out there are the corporate pushovers who want to bend over (forward) for the corporate elite in Hollywood. Well search no further, I give you the top ten movies of 2009.
Obviously I’m not counting down from ten because that’s stupid. Why would you put the best movie at the bottom of the list? Screw suspense. Inglourious Basterds belongs on the top because it is the best movie that was produced in 2009. In most of Tarantino’s movies you get either some amazing characters (Kill Bill) or some pretty interesting plotlines (Jackie Brown, Kill Bill Vol. 2) but never, since Pulp Fiction has Tarantino delivered both in such an amazing fashion as he does in Inglourious Basterds. The fact that most of the cast of the movie hasn’t acted in any widely recognized film before it makes it an even more impressive movie. Christoph Waltz (pictured above) does an amazing job of playing an S.S. Colonel rivaling the Basterds in the movie. Aside from the entertainment value on top, the movie is chock full of subtle references, homages and some not so subtle satires of other films and media, making it the most creative film of 2009. If you’ve already seen the movie and still don’t understand why it’s the best of 2009, you’re probably not smart enough to ever understand even if someone were to explain it to you; you should probably go watch Transformers. Inglourious Basterds gets 10/10.
Having never been a fan of the TV show (or the culture surrounding it), I went to the theater with low expectations for this movie. Oddly enough, (because movies are rarely impressive anymore) Star Trek proved to be, arguably, the most unexpectedly impressive film of 2009. With its amateur cast and amateur director, it’s a wonder that Star Trek ended up being such a great film. Aside from the expert cast and story, the musical score in the film is excellently composed, it provides the perfect backdrop for every action and drama scene alike. The special effects are also amazing in Star Trek, but unlike notably shitty films such as Avatar and Transformers, Star Trek puts the story and characters BEFORE the special effects, making for a nice balance of CGI and acting skills. For this, Star Trek also gets a 10/10, but even though it gets the same score as Inglourious Basterds, it ranks number 2 because Basterds obviously did a lot more with a lot less.
Two words define this movie: Morgan Freeman. As if Morgan Freeman’s acting wasn’t enough, Clint Eastwood directed the film to spin it perfectly. It’s also nice to see Matt Damon doing a decent job of acting in a movie without being an overbearing ass like in some of his other movies. For a biopic, Invictus is a great film. For a sports movie, Invictus is just decent. However, viewers of Invictus need to recognize that it’s not a sports movie (despite lots of rugby being present), it’s a movie about Nelson Mandela. I don’t think Eastwood will be getting any best director awards for this one (compared to his other works), but it’s definitely one of the best films that came out in 2009. Invictus gets 9/10.
I don’t have too much to say about Zombieland. It’s got a great cast for the movie’s purposes (and a great cameo in the movie, at that) and a great soundtrack to top it off. When there isn’t a kickass shooting scene happening in this movie, brandishing Woody Harrelson in all his badassery, there’s some hilarious spoof of zombie mythology. I’ve seen a lot of people compare Zombieland to Sean of the Dead but overall they’re two different types of films. Zombieland definitely surpasses Sean of the Dead in terms of action, but Sean of the Dead holds well in comedy still. Zombieland gets 9/10.
A lot of my readers are probably going to be pissed at me for including Up on my top 10 list, but this movie rightfully deserves its recognition. As always, Pixar delivers above-par animation and editing with Up, but that’s not why it’s on the top 10. Think of Up as the kid friendly version of Gran Torino. It delivers a subtle yet biting description of today’s society and how much it sucks, but it also has a unique main character. For curmudgeonly old men, Carl Fredricksen in Up is the best of 2009. Although not quite as powerful as Wall-E, Up provides a decent view of how much the world sucks (am I repeating myself?). Up gets 8/10.
Yeah, that’s right, those were the only five movies worth listing as “top movies” of 2009. I’m not forgetting Avatar either. If you think Avatar matches up or surpasses the other films in anything aside from special effects, you’re probably not astute enough to recognize what films are actually made up of. That’s that. Send me all your hate mail and comments now. I look forward to reading them.
Those of you reading that are OB veterans will know that January 1st marks our (official) anniversary. January 1st is the day this page went live (the forums were up a little bit before that) and it also marks the official opening of the community. Veterans will also note that 2010 is starting on a bit of a nicer note than 2009 did (reason being we don’t do Garry’s Mod anymore).
Introduction aside, please grant me your attention for one final time in 2009 and take a look at some notable events in and around Our Benefactors over the past year.
Breaking off from Simple RP
It’s kind of hard to believe that this is where we were just a little more than a year ago (look familiar?):
We were waiting for Auro (also known as “Anders”) to finish a script for Garry’s Mod. We got tired of waiting and got out while the getting was good and started up OB. I’m not sure what Auro’s been doing ever since then, I haven’t been in touch. Regardless, I can proudly say good riddance to Simple RP.
Garry’s Mod
Those of you around for the OB GMod server have to admit, it was fun while it lasted. Take a look at these old screenshots:
The Old Dev Team
There were some interesting times to say the very least. I could list off everyone that was considered a “developer” for OB at one point or another but there are far too many to list. They know who they are. Thanks to most of these people, the community’s stayed alive, physically, throughout the year. Can you believe that this is what the original plan for the main page was? Space-Bar thought it up.
Other old, OB artwork:
The Switch to Team Fortress 2
Three words: best decision ever. Switching to Team Fortress 2, or perhaps AWAY from Garry’s Mod was the best thing to happen to OB. Some of you might recall the original post:
TF2 has been a blessing to OB, overall. It’s opened the community up to a whole new group of individuals who’ve all been pretty cool. I hope to see many more members from our server because OB’s gonna keep on truckin’ with TF2.
Picture of the Week
This latest forum implementation really needs to be seen for itself. See all the Picture of the Week entries here.
Some are awesome and others are just plain…interesting.
And now?
I’d say Our Benefactors had a pretty good first year. It’s not a bad coincidence that our anniversary is on January 1st – it makes a nice time for e-nostalgia along with all the nostalgia you’re probably having in real life. And I’m happy to say the Christmas party this year went a lot better than the one last year. I don’t think anyone will forget OB’s Christmas party last year, in fact I’m pretty sure TKFT still can’t eat orange Jello. Anyway, I digress. To wrap this whole thing up I’d like to thank some of the people who’ve helped us out over the months.
Personal Jihad – Our excellent server provider, without him none of the website or server work would be half as convenient as it is right now. I also have to give him credit for helping me out with things that a server provider isn’t even required to do!
The assorted dev team members over the months – Too many to list, but you all know who you are, you’ve also made things a lot easier around here.
Server admins: Argus, Brolita, Dasutin, Saikotic and any others I might’ve forgotten (sorry), you’ve been a tremendous help.
Extra thanks to Dasutin for graphic design – it’s made the site look so much better than since we first started.
Extra thanks to Marky Mark for being awesome.
And finally, I want to especially thank all the OB members. New or old, thanks for hanging out here. You’ve made for a hell of a year, so here’s to one more.
The title does not say it all.
The Saboteur is a third person shooter/adventure game that takes place in Nazi occupied Paris in the early 1940s. You play as Irish race car driver Sean Devlin who, after a series of unfortunate events related to Nazis, decides to start raising hell and kicking Nazi ass in the city of Paris. If those two sentences alone haven’t convinced you to try out the game then you’re probably a woman or not human; just look at the words “Irish race car driver” and “kicking Nazi ass.” It doesn’t get much better than that.
Let me just reiterate that: Irish race car driver who kills Nazis. Just think about that for a while.
Maybe you’re thinking, “Well anyone can make a game about Nazis and Irishmen,” and that’s true. But this game was made by an amazing team known as Pandemic, so with the storyline combined it’s, naturally, awesome. Despite the fact that EA fired every living creature in Pandemic studios, this last game they produced is an amazing one. And the fact that EA fired Pandemic makes the game even more enjoyable to play, simply because you’re spiting EA every time you play for it. As a matter of fact, if Pandemic hadn’t been liquidated, I’d recommend buying this game, but since they were axed they probably don’t get any royalties for this so I suggest creatively acquiring it.
Now let’s get back to the game itself. As I said, Pandemic did a great job with the content, the characters and even the storyline (compared to most other games nowadays). The voice acting is pretty good, the characters are all very unique and most of them are pretty interesting. And the fact that there are interesting characters is pretty impressive, considering the fact that the main character is a tough-as-nails Irish race car driver who slaughters Nazis in his spare time – it’s hard to compete with that, but Pandemic does it.
The game does have quite a few anachronistic elements to it, but they work to further immerse you in the world of 1940s Paris. Pandemic doesn’t try to hide their historically inappropriate elements in the game, but rather they use them to enhance the gameplay. Level design is also very convincing, and it’s backed up by the system varying between color and black and white, depending on which areas of the map have been cleansed of Nazi occupation. Aiding the level design is the game’s soundtrack – an excellent compilation of old music and some newer music that further immerses the player in 1940s Paris. (Oh, I forgot to mention that one of the central locations in the game is a French nightclub with plenty of scantily clad French girls walking around – a nice way for an Irish Nazi killer to end the day.)
After playing this game, you’ll likely be wishing Pandemic was still around to make a sequel. No other game has so excellently pulled off such a badass character in a badass setting, while staying unique at the same time. And underlying everything I just mentioned is the fact that the game is open world, adding a great sense of freedom to everything else. The downsides to the game are rather minor. The soundtrack is a little small, but the music is pretty good so it’s not too noticeable. Also, some of the animations are a bit off sometimes, but it’s only in the cutscenes, making it pretty irrelevant. Overall, I recommend getting this game, maybe even buying it if you felt like it.
Final score: 9/10.
I’m not sure I can express the unorthodoxy that exists in my support of Valve this past week. Frankly, I’m not used to being for something, because most people generally behave moronically (and oxymoronically, for that matter). For some reason, however, Valve has surpassed, once againm the din of humanity’s incompetence and especially that of the Steam Forums.
The rift drawn between players in the Team Fortress 2 community has tickled me pink. I love the hatred being expressed, the frustration, the anger and the lack of vindication being experienced (or the lack of vindication that they think they’re experiencing) amongst the TF2 community. And for technical regards, I am greatly satiated by the fact that Valve has, at last, acknowledged that the Soldier is a class that requires little to no skill to play fairly successfully. That’s not to say that everyone playing the Soldier has no skill, it’s simply to say that in order to fare decently in TF2, one could simply play Soldier, regardless of past experience.
What does this recognition mean? Not only was the Demoman outnumbered, but also outgunned; simply put: the Soldier is more powerful, in general. In even plainer speech: the Soldier is “easymode” compared to the Demoman. Valve has squelched all purpose to vomitous forum debates, hate speech and regurgitations regarding the Soldier vs. Demoman issue. The fact of the matter is that the Demoman is a class that requires more grace, more care and, overall, more skill to succeed with.
I could list off reasons why the Demoman is a far more respectable and more challenging class to play, and therefore more deserving of an unlock, but I don’t need to. Valve, the creator of the game, has acknowledged and declared that the Soldier is the “World’s easiest class.”
And of course, one will try to argue that Valve’s newspaper is sarcasm. Of course it is. But a few ounces of foresight and stylistic analysis will reveal that Valve is conveying the fact that, their creation, the Soldier, is a class that requires relatively no skill to succeed with. The entire purpose of Valve’s newspaper is to relay information in a comical, yet informative manner. This one is no exception. The bottom line: the Demoman requires more prowess to do well with than the Soldier does.
In other words: suck it, Soldiers.
DISCLAIMER: The contents of this article might reside in your brain for the rest of your days. And the rest of your life might be increasingly shorter as you read this post, as what I have to tell you, though important, can never be unseen nor unheard. The magnitude of this information is extremely severe. You’ve been warned.
The genius working on the marketing for Team Fortress 2 (and that’s not sarcasm, this guy’s a genius) came up with a way to divide the TF2 community and spark an immense amount of support for the Demoman and the Soldier.
What I can’t help but notice, though, is the parallel being made to the disgusting Twilight Series. Maybe Valve didn’t intend to start such of a disgusting plague of bitter hatred, based around two sides, in the TF2 playerbase, but they’re succeeding in it. This is a plague like we’ve never seen before, a plague in which the Demoman is Robert Pattinson and the Soldier is Taylor Lautner (oh God). A plague in which thousands of thirteen-year-olds stick tags on their name saying “[Team JacobSoldier]” and soon enough, thousands of products will be marketed off of this. Take your pick.
So I ask: Valve, what have you done?
This is not a drill.
Any man worth his salt will begin a prompt purge, via the Demoman, of all Soldiers amidst the battle field. Since creation, Valve has repeatedly slandered and soiled the Demoman’s abilities and effects. They’ve reduced his ammo. They’ve reduced damage. They’ve even encouraged a reduction of his respect on the Steam Forums.
I am hereby announcing the annulment of any and all friendships of mine that should extend to a surf and blind supporter of the Soldier. This is to be effective immediately.
Where to start, where to start, where to start? I usually know just where to start, but today comes a challenge, almost unlike any other, relatively amusing to me.
This challenge is, of course, responding to the amount of hate mail (and the comments in praise and agreement) and disagreement among the comments. And if anyone’s wondering why I tend to address the negative feedback more than the positive feedback: I do so because I’m sure you can all handle being respectable without me having to point it out. But silence is concession, and, as such, I’d like acknowledge my newest fan: Domino.
Domino’s Story
Just like most of the other people that are too incompetent and too blinded by their own defensiveness to recognize my sarcasm, Domino has done quite the obvious, he’s taken to a bitter disposition in response to my “Generic Black Bars” post. Though I think he’s tried to remain “mature” in his vocabulary, his rhetoric is that of a middleschooler who’s had their Cheerios pissed in. What’s even worse, none of the pictures I’ve referred to in my previous post were made by him. So he has no discernible reason to be angry at me, much less trying to get even more people angry at me. He’s also, apparently, extremely impulsive, aggressive and somewhat conniving. All, apparently, in response to my latest blog post.
He also goes by the name, “Danieru-kun” here in the comments section.
He’s trying to convince people to be angry at me, he’s called me a “dick,” and perhaps most interestingly of all, he doesn’t have much of a reason to be mad at me. I haven’t mentioned him or his picture in my last blog post, so I’m not sure why he’s angry. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume I’ve said something to offend him. But that’s beside the point. Regardless of why he’s mad at me, let’s take a look at how he’s chosen to be mad at me.
You’ve Got the Wrong Guy!
He’s made several posts like this, in several of the threads I’ve referred to, in his attempts to direct anger at me. (Click on the picture for a larger version). First of all, he’s asking people to send hatemail, about me, to a person, who is not only NOT me, but somebody I don’t even know. That’s right, I am not “GuitarFreak” from the Facepunch forums. I don’t frequent them. Looks like you better start sending out apologies, Domino.
GG.
Now, what’s also interesting, is the fact that he’s agreeing with me. Not only should he not be mad at me, but he’s agreeing with me. Now folks, I will discern the difference between disagreement and anger. Sure you might disagree with what I say from time to time, but when you start gathering an angry e-mob of haters in attempts to disparage me and my opinions thereof, chances are you’re pretty pissed off. Why else would he go through the trouble of harnessing an angry group of disgruntled teenagers to silence me?
Here are some of the posts in which he expresses his agreement with me (yet also manages to insult me in):
I don’t think I need to continue with those. It’s obvious that we’re dealing with a very deeply conflicted individual (and I say “deeply” because he obviously cares a great deal about me as he’s found some of the threads that I’ve referred to, advertised me in them, then attempted to direct “hate” at me). There are two things I want to say to this guy:
For God’s sake, say sorry to that poor guy you had everyone send hate mail to on the Facepunch forums. I mean, you probably feel pretty stupid about it, but you should still apologize. Whoever that “GuitarFreak” guy is, he probably didn’t deserve a random flood of hateful Private Messages (that is to say, if anyone even obeyed this “Domino” guy as he asked them to).
And the second point should go to everyone.
If you can’t handle my sarcasm, you shouldn’t be on the internet without parental supervision. It’s as simple as that. I’m not “angry” about this, as some of the responders would like to claim in light of my previous post. If you think this blog is me “raging” or “being mad” at things, you’re horribly mistaken, probably because you’re too blinded by adolescence, insecurity and incompetence to recognize any sort of sarcasm.
And insecurity is what the prevalent issue is here. The logic of what most of these people are saying is, “if you don’t like my pictures, you’re a dick.” Since, you know, we don’t need freedom of speech or freedom to disagree or anything like that. That would be silly!
What’s more, the comments are all terrible. They offer such insightful statements:
“Fuck off.”
“Cry in a corner.”
“You are a faggot”
“Hey asshole”
“fag.”
“Shut the fuck up”
“Go cry in a corner”
But don’t take my word for it! Go see the comments for yourself below the “Generic Black Bars” post!
Despite what it may seem, most of the feedback has been positive. But what I find ironic, is that among all the comments, even those from the newcomers (from Facepunch I assume), the most grammatically correct and the most logical ones, are the ones that agree with the post. And I’m not trying to silence any opposition to my opinions, I’m just noting a trend. I like it when people disagree with me, but these people seem to lack any amount of competence to fight logic with anything other than, “fag.”
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